Fear is a primal emotion. And you know what? I’m driven by it. I don’t believe in idea of, “destroying fear before it destroys you.” I don’t want to fight against something that will never go away. I don’t want to waste my energy on the idea of believing that we can brainwash ourselves into defying nature. Fear won’t go away and either will happiness or anger - other common emotions.
Emotions will sneak up and surprise us when we least expect it. That’s the beauty behind human emotion. The slightest trigger can cause our mood to do a complete 180. The trigger doesn’t have to be complicated. Something as little as viewing an old picture can trigger a new emotional release. We have very little control over our emotions, but how we act upon them is what makes or breaks the human spirit.
The human psyche fascinates me, and the idea of fear fascinates me even more. That’s why I talk about fear so much.
In life, we conjure up ideas of our master plan. Day in and day out, we make edits to our blueprints. We scribble. We erase. We edit.
But more often than not, there are times when we hit a wall. The wall of fear. For some people, it’s enough to paralyze them. It makes me sad because I’ve been there. I’ve been in thousands of face-to-face battles with the wall.
In gym class, we were always instructed to run 4 laps around the gym to commence our warmup routine. I dreaded this moment. I feared this moment. I coped by cutting corners, and I don’t think I ever truly finished 4 laps. I was only hurting myself. I escaped fear by cutting corners. I never confronted fear. And since I didn’t confront fear, I didn’t learn from fear.
The only way I ever
moved forward in life was by walking around the wall and remaining willfully ignorant of the wall’s presence. Surely, it was there for a reason, but I never cared to find out why. I went merrily on my way only to discover wall after wall after wall until I eventually gave up. Time stood still. I was alive, but I wasn’t living. It wasn’t until I started chasing my fears that I was finally able to wake up from this 20+ year coma. I’ve learned that fear can either create obstacles or opportunities. Chasing fear means taking risks. And if things don’t quite go as planned, who cares? The most important thing is that through blocking fear’s punch, you come out stronger.
When the wall of fear stands in your way, don’t go around it. Climb the wall, break down the wall, or do whatever else it may take to get to the other side. It’s not easy. I’d be lying to you and to myself if I said it was. But if I ignored my fears instead of facing them, I wouldn’t feel the same power and glory as I do now. My key piece of advice is not to live IN fear, but to live WITH fear. Living in fear prevents us from understanding ourselves and life in general. However, living with fear brings opportunity to the horizon. Only by confronting and learning from our fears can we successfully move forward in more ways than one.
Fear is my fuel for life. Fear is my key.
I was terrified of running. I associated running with painful memories from gym class. In 2010, when I was reintroduced to the sport of running, I couldn’t foresee letting something from my past keep me from testing my limits. Yes I was scared, but I still tried. It certainly wasn’t pretty. I didn’t have fun. And I wasn’t really good at it. Still, having the courage to face one of my fears caused something within me to spark. Each time I faced my fear of running thereafter, it became easier. Now here I am 2 years later, a pronounced 2x marathoner and an ultramarathoner.
Fear allows me to feel something. Fear allows me to run my life. I’m thankful for fear.18 notes
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